We'd hit up MOS Burger, that's what!
MOS Burger is a Japanese burger chain selling a wide range of regularly bunned, rice bunned and unbunned burgers (aka burgers with a lettuce bun). They're pretty cheap, good value and taste good to a western palate. When I heard there was one in Brisbane I was hell-bent on paying it a visit - even if I couldn't eat.
I got there and the customer service was EXACTLY like it was in Japan. The staff greeted everyone who came through the door, and farewelled them as they left. They did do it in English, but the same pitch and speed - it was quite uncanny! The counters were clean, the benches unsticky and the serviettes and straws stocked up.
To hell with it, I thought, and ordered a fish natsumi (lettuce bun) burger and an iced macha (it was actually hot enough to have that there - wonders will never cease). My burger came out in a basket, just like in Japan, and I proceeded to deconstruct to see what I could eat. I ate the cheese, and the special sauce, and tried a mouthful or two of the fish pattie, because I am stubborn and wanted to feel normal for just a few seconds... and also just to see what would happen (I will not elaborate on that part except to say I REALLY, INTIMATELY appreciate the high standard of cleanliness MOS Burger maintains in their bathrooms...). The burger was crunchy in all the right places and had plenty of colour and flavour. AND THE ICED MACHA TASTED JUST LIKE ICED MACHA SHOULD! I don't like mine too bitter, nor too sickeningly sweet (which is what mostly happens here in Australia). This one was right smack bang in the middle. PERFECT.
And so, feeling as though she had accomplished a mighty MOS Burger mission, the girl lived happily ever after and headed off to Roma Street to begin her journey home.